When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade.
But there are times when I ask, “Why not apples?”
I’m not meant to understand this world. I was born with a purpose, that I know, but it was never meant for me to have a full understanding of what this world is, and why is it like this. But being the finite being that I am, I know in my lifetime that I’m bound to questions and speculations and doubt about the reason for things – why am I here? Why is this happening to me? Why am I like this? Do I deserve this failures?
Will I ever change?
Whenever I don’t understand these things or why everything turned out the exact opposite of what I think it should be, I’m prone to depression. I’m prone to sulking and pondering. Am I not good enough to achieve my goals? Maybe I should just give up.
Yet, the strange thing is, there’s something that keeps me hanging on, even if I’m a hair’s breadth away from letting go. Even if I wanted to just raise the white flag and just give in to what the world accuses me of being, I find that there’s a faint tugging inside my heart that keeps my feet up and walking. And I’m ever thankful for that.
There’s this universal knowledge that tells, No pain, no gain. That everything has its purpose. Everything is not by chance, but it is meant to happen so as to give me something – whether to teach, to warn, to guide, or just to open my mind to a wider scope from the things I currently know. Even Ninoy Aquino, a man of great mind and principles, realized this truth which led him to believe that there is a God. He was just fighting for the country he loved. He just wanted change for the betterment of his people. Yet he was arrested and placed in solitary confinement – away from any persons that would offer him company; away from his family that he loved. On this moment, he found himself questioning why things happened to him even if he did not deserve it. And it was then he realized – if all these things are happening, then there must be a God because if everything is just as it is, then the pain would be nothing; the suffering would be for nothing. So there must be a divine being out there to answer and put an end to his questions.
Nothing is not without a purpose.
So I keep moving on. Even if my feet bleeds from life’s path of thorns, I keep walking. Because someday, I know that answers will come, in the right time, in the right place at the end of this journey. Because at the end of it all, I know that He’ll be waiting for me at the other side – with open arms – and heal my wounds, and set me free. Then my joy would finally be complete.
Someday, everything is going to make sense. So I keep on.
John 16:22 MSG
“The sadness you feel now is similar to a mother giving birth to a child. But the coming of the joy is also similar. When I see you again, you’ll be full of joy and it will be a joy no one can rob from you. You’ll no longer be full of questions.”