“In short, we learn how to ‘love’, how to express and expect it, by reading about it, or by hearing it on radio or watching images of it on television and movies.”
– The Ideology of Love (Randy David)
Reaction paper to:The Ideology of Love
The article speaks about love and its “different” faces, from the past and the modern perspective. Unfortunately, agreeing to what Nietzsche had mentioned, I totally disaccord on the modern semantic of love. It is not about what we know (as mentioned on the excerpt above; notice the quotation marks on the word “love”.); it is about what we feel towards a person whom we already know on a personal level.
But, as the topic of the article has said, love is sometimes used to “define” the situation in which marital relationship is being used to cover up for some other reasons, like maintaining a social status or compensating for a mistake, let’s say, to prevent having a child out of wedlock. However, as I have observed, most of the people involved in these kinds of marriages only end up getting separated. If you ask me, I can frankly say that this kind of situation cannot be considered as love, true love.
Furthermore, in contrary to what Niklas Luhmann said in his book, I believe that love’s definition is something that cannot be changed no matter how much time passes. It is not some term that we could make up a meaning to just because we feel like it, or just because it is the current rule of the thumb. Biblically speaking, it is said that God is love. If we are to connect what Mr. Luhmann said, is it logical to say that God’s nature changes over the course of time? Hebrews 13:8 says “He is the same, yesterday, today and forever.”
But, there is a certain point of Luhmann that I acknowledge: “Love basically refers to a sharing of personal worlds by two lovers while conceding to each other the right to their own world.” It simply means being able to understand each other mutually, yet having the respect to each other’s decisions and privacy. It is not being a “heartless dictator” when it comes to your partner’s personal life, going so far as to control the decisions of the other. Continue doing that and I assure you, you will have a very excellent relationship, one that has frequent quarrels, physical and emotional damage, and will eventually lead off to a “Hey, let’s just end this.”
It is very saddening to know that nowadays, the word “love” is being equated with infatuation and lust, whereas infatuations only lasts for a few moments and lust often leads to horrible results when acted upon. I may not have an actual experience in a “romantic” relationship, but I learn enough from what I observe of the real world, not of the rampant television shows. Of all those people that I have seen, I concluded that true love does not bring about regrets and sufferings. It does not fade away even if the wind of trials crosses its path. Moreover, it is not rash in making decisions. True love waits, persists, and rewards you know.
1st Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn’t selfish or quick-tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.”